Pandemonium With Penny

Who loves to watch a dog doing tricks while wearing a costume? Apparently, just about everybody.

My parents' tiny Pomeranian, Penny, was a diva and costuming was an issue. A fluffy, clown-style collar, sewn by my mom, was all that she would tolerate. It's unfair to call her a diva. She was the hardest-working dog in show business: She wouldn't stop performing until someone stopped her.

Referring to her foxy-looking little companion, my mom announced proudly, "Wait 'til you see what Penny can do!" My dad had taught the quick-study, copper- colored pooch a few tricks. Our favorites were Penny jumping through a hoop held aloft and continuous rolling over and over on a rectangular rug.

Penny was so excited to perform that it was getting to be old-hat for dad to partner her all the time. So he taught our young daughter, Casey, Penny's voice commands. Then he filled Casey's hoody-jacket pockets with dog treats. That's all it took. The two played until they wore each other out. A new comedic Vaudeville team was born. We called the act "Pandemonium With Penny."

The act was sure-fire. Boffo. If Penny didn't follow one of the commands, Casey would improvise. You've heard the expression, "The left hand never knew what the right hand was doing"? It was hysterical. Unpredictable, with a performing animal and a cute kid. What's not to like?

Not to like? Rules. Regulations. Policies. "I'm sorry but we're not zoned to allow any animals in our building." It was discouraging. Not enough stages would allow Penny's act. So after only a handful of shows Penny "took the veil" (retired from Vaudeville) to our troupe's dismay.

Most memorable performance of "Pandemonium With Penny"? That's easy. A Christmas luncheon at a popular Arlington Heights restaurant.

My mom and dad kept Penny in the car until it was time to make her stage entrance. The duet was greeted with the usual "Oh, how cute!" and automatic applause by just walking onto the tiny stage. At the end of a very enthusiastic, well-received performance, it was time to bow and exit.

The dog had another idea. It was as if she knew what it meant to "milk" an audience. Penny jumped off the stage. It was pure chaos as she ran around all the tables, chairs, legs and feet in her way. Casey was in hot pursuit, but Penny managed to stay just out of her reach, while the audience laughed wildly.

Before my dad finally came to the rescue, grabbing hold of Penny as she ran towards the restaurant bar, it had been pure pandemonium. With Penny.