Squirrel Tossed in Traffic, Man Arrested Twice in Two Days

A look at weird crimes in the northern Chicago suburbs.

Local police departments provided the following reports. In all incidents where an arrest occurred, a charge is merely an accusation and not evidence of guilt.

Drive-by squirreling

A woman in Skokie had just parked her vehicle when an unknown person stopped behind her, stared at her and threw a dead squirrel into her vehicle.   

A rose by any other name is still harassment

A man came into a Glenview store and made inappropriate comments to the employees. The man left the store for a short time, then returned with two roses he gave to the employee before leaving again.

Police rounding up the usual optimists

Several smiley faces and a flower drawn in green and pink chalk were located on the east wall of an underpass in Highland Park.

Man's warm car turns hot

A man in Buffalo Grove went outside to start his car and let it warm up. He returned inside and a few minutes later, a co-worker saw his vehicle speeding out of the parking lot.

Voted Most Likely to Recidivate

A 22-year-old Wilmette man drove out of the driveway of a Niles restaurant so fast that the car's traction system lost control and the car fishtailed, police said. He was trying to go north, but the car instead went into the southbound lanes of Milwaukee Avenue. The car then entered a parking lot by driving over a curb and sidewalk, then went to the rear of the business area.

When police arrived, they said the driver had already gotten out of the vehicle and told them "I'm done." When asked what happened, police said he replied, "I've been drinking," and when asked whether he knew he drove over a curb, he said, "Yeah, I know." Police charged him with DUI and he was released on bond.

The following day, police said they pulled the same man over for driving about 76 mph on Touhy Avenue in a 35 mph zone. He was charged with speeding more than 40 mph over the speed limit.

Thieves steal in order to get high

Someone cut a lock cable and stole three planks, a dolly, a 20-foot aluminum ladder and six steps from an Evanston business.

Pokey man

A man came into a Glenview business and caused a disturbance by yelling for no apparent reason. When asked to calm down, the man poked an employee in the chest, then left before officers arrived.

A man gave his Sprint Samsung Galaxy II cell phone to his friend in Evanston and did not get it back when he asked for it. 

Wire Points January 27, 2013 at 09:53 PM
I like it. Sure, this column is minor, local stuff but that's what it's for. Its writing is elegantly simple and plain facts turn out to be pretty funny. Diverse opinions are welcomed heree and comments require no Facebook or other nonsense. Somebody recently called this kind of thing on the web "HDM" -- heterodox media. We need that.
Nightcrawler January 27, 2013 at 10:13 PM
Well put, WP. So it's not the Onion. It's the thought that counts.
Ed60062 January 27, 2013 at 11:55 PM
Michelle, because of the first amendment.
Ed60062 January 27, 2013 at 11:57 PM
Is F.G.S. considered blasphemy too?
Kim Monilaw Bending January 28, 2013 at 07:17 PM
Hilarious reading. hilarious posts. and Claudia/Rose are u serious or is that your attempt at starting drama?


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