If your child is headed to kindergarten, middle school or high school this year, they may be nervous about what to expect. These are big transitions! Whether your child is excited and eager to go to the new school or anxious and unsure, here are some tips to smooth the transitions and start the year off right.  

Don’t Miss Orientations.

No matter what grade your kids are entering this year, be sure to attend Back-to-School Nights and Meet the Teacher(s) events before school starts. It makes a huge difference to see a friendly face on the first day of school.

Be relaxed but excited.

Kids can sense any anxiety you may be feeling, so be sure to talk positively about school. Don’t ask them if they are nervous if they haven’t even considered that they need to be nervous yet. (Boy, do my kids run with the power of suggestion, so head it off at the pass.) Talk positively with your child about new experiences and new friends.

Practice makes perfect.

Kids will feel more secure if they know what to expect so practice walking to school or the bus stop. Or drive to the school and say, “This is where I'll park to pick you up or where the bus will drop you off and that is the door you will go into.” Walk through the middle or high school building with your kids so they can find their locker and their class rooms.

KINDERGARTEN

Start Reading.

Reading together with your child is always one of the best ways to help them prepare for kindergarten. For kids who are anxious and don’t know what to expect in this big transition period, books like “Lets Get Ready Kindergarten!” by Stacey Kannenberg cover the alphabet, letters, rhyming, numbers, and shapes to help ease them into the school year.

We like funnier books to ease our fears, so we enjoyed “Jake Starts School,” by Michael Wright. 

MIDDLE SCHOOL

Kids who have conquered Elementary School and are going on to Middle School may start worrying about fitting in, making friends, getting to class on time, and huge loads of homework. Reassure them that it will all become second nature quickly and that you will be there to help.

Find a tribe.

Middle school can be a tricky time to make friends. Be sensitive to this. Ask your child if they know anyone from their last school going to this new middle school. Remind them that they made friends in elementary school that they didn’t know before. As with adults, tell them that joining clubs and after-school activities is the fastest way to make new friends, especially ones who share the same interests. 

Learn to like the lunchroom.

Lunchtime can be a social landmine. Kids are known for grouping together into the stereotypical cliques—the jocks, the popular kids, the nerds, the trouble makers, kids who love vegetables (ok, that's just wishful thinking). Help your child plan ahead. Encourage them to find a friend who will save them a seat to avoid the awkward search. Or encourage your child to sit at a different table everyday to try to meet the most people and find the friends who make them feel comfortable.

Enlist a “mentor.” 

Check your neighborhood for a kid who may be a year or two ahead. Ask them if they would talk to your child about middle school – how it works, which clubs to join, what to avoid, etc. At the very least, this will be a friendly face on the first day of school. 

HIGH SCHOOL

Going from Middle School to High School is a huge emotional step for kids. Most teens are apprehensive about going, but too cool to let you know. They may be worried about forming friendships, fitting in, getting good grades, getting lost, dealing with peer pressure and dating, just to name a few. Here are a few ideas to help them feel more comfortable about high school. 

Re-establish routines.

Right now, before school begins, start turning your night owl child into one who goes to bed a little earlier and gets up before noon. This will help them avoid going into shock on the first day. If your kids are texting late at night while they are supposed to be sleeping, have them leave their cell phones in the kitchen, plugged into a charger, before they go to bed.

Be involved.

Even though they hope you don’t know, teens need their parents now more than ever. Find out how to best contact the school and the teachers to get help, if needed. Many schools now use technology to provide parents with daily or weekly updates on their student’s progress with homework and tests. Get on these systems right away so that you can head off any problems before they become larger issues. Let your kids know you are talking with their teachers so it doesn’t feel like you are going behind their back and spying on them. Make sure they know it is because you want to stay involved.

Stay close, but not too close.

Ask your teen about their day, but don’t interrogate them. If they tell you a problem, don’t automatically try to solve it for them. Expect that especially during the first few weeks of school, they may come home and need time to just “chill out.” Try to chat with them in the car on the way to activities or at dinner instead of grilling them as they come in the door.

Teach Them to Handle Independence. 

Your kids may have a lot more independence in High School than in Middle School. However, that doesn’t mean you stop parenting. Talk with your kids frequently about meeting deadlines, avoid procrastinating, and prioritizing their work and fun. These are life skills they will need for the rest of their lives. Encourage them to try new activities and join clubs but learn when enough is enough. 

What worked for you to ease your kids' fears about starting a new school?

For more school-related topics, read all of my Back-to-School Sanity Saving Tips.